Broken Hands & Beautiful Hearts

"What does selfless love look like?"

A pleasant faced whale, floating atop perfectly symmetric waves in varying shades of blue, stares at me as I open my journal that is almost ready to burst from page after page full of thoughts, scripture, and song lyrics. I scribble on one of it's pages: "What does selfless love look like?" Next to me, my study Bible is inviting me to read the story of Ruth. I pick it up, and what I find is the beginning of a redemption story. A story that highlight's God's character in the midst of difficulty. A story that shouts his kindness and whispers His sovereignty. A story that leads me to answers. A story that leads me to the Father's heart.

In the midst of spiritual, social, and political unrest in Bethlehem, famine covers the land. Naomi and Elimelech decide to move with their two sons, Mahlon and Chilion, to the land of Moab, on the other side of the dead sea- many, many miles from home. Elimelech passes away, leaving Naomi widowed with her two sons. The sons marry Moabite women, Orpah and Ruth. After about 10 years, both of Naomi's sons also pass away. Naomi, grieving her great loss, decides to journey back to her home in Bethlehem, where the famine has passed. She instructs Orpah and Ruth to return to their families, as she cannot provide husbands for them and desires the Lord to provide for them. She loves them as her own daughters and desires the best for them. Orpah decides to return to her family, however, Ruth says that she will not leave Naomi. Ruth leaves everything behind- her family, home, gods- to follow Naomi. She promises, "Where you go, I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you." Naomi gives up trying to convince her, and the two begin their return journey to Bethlehem. (Ruth 1)

As I contemplate what I just read, I pick up my journal and scribble down the following array of questions: "How often do I recognize God's character in others? Do I see His goodness in the people around me? Do I see how He loves me through others? DO I SEE HOW HE LOVES ME?"
I recognize my brokenness. I recognize others' brokenness. Sometimes all I can see is brokenness. I remind myself to be honest- I scribble more words: "Sometimes, I'm too scared to deal with brokenness. I don't know where to start. I don't have the strength." I am reminded of a phrase God has written on my mind and my heart so heavily in the last year: "BUT GOD."

"The very thing we are afraid of, our brokenness, is the door to our Father's heart." Paul Miller

When I return to my first question- "What does selfless love look like?"- my answer begins to unfold through my once-again scribbling hand. "The Father's heart is the only heart that holds selfless love- perfect love. But how do I experience this love? ...Through my own brokenness and the brokenness of others." 

"I've embraced a love so large it's broken my heart in a thousand aching places. I don't know the way to put all these broken pieces back into place. Maybe that's the point? Maybe this broken way is making something new. He is making all things new." -Ann Voskamp

In order to love others selflessly, I must first experience that perfect kind of love. I have to be willing to encounter brokenness- to face it head on- to drop the shattered pieces of my heart, instead of grasping them so tightly until my hands start to bleed and begin to leave scars of sin. I have to allow the Healer's heart to make those pieces into something new- a process that molds me by the once-scarred hands dripping with the blood of selfless, perfect love.

I have to let go of my fear. I have to be willing to walk many, many miles with no future vision but my feet below me. Ruth embraced the brokenness in her life- death, loss, confusion, difficult decisions- and allowed God to have the pieces regardless of what the end result would look like. I can't help but think that Naomi was a huge part of Ruth's decision. Naomi displayed selfless love to Ruth in a way that inspired Ruth to do the same. That's what love does- it sacrifices, often silently.

"The kind of love that God created and demonstrated is a costly one because it involves sacrifice and presence. It's a love that operates more like a sign language than being spoken outright." -Bob Goff

Naomi was in a place of bitterness and doubt. She even renamed herself Mara which translates "bitter." But even in this place of bitterness and brokenness- she chose to love Ruth selflessly, because her love was rooted in Christ- the only perfect, selfless love. And the amazing part is- God chose to display His love right back to Naomi through Ruth. The sacrifice Ruth made- her willingness to be present with Naomi through her brokenness- shouted Christ's love and kindness, even though Ruth didn't have to say a word. She just had to be present. But the few words Ruth did speak further proved God's love displayed through His people. Ruth said to Naomi, "Your people shall be my people, and your God my God. (Ruth 1:15-18)" These words recall God's covenant promise to the Israelites when He delivers them from the hands of Egypt: "I will be your God and you shall be my people. (Exodus 6:7)." I can't help but think that God allowed Ruth to speak those words as a parallel reminder of God's love over Naomi in the midst of her brokenness. God uses people to prove His character.

I write down final thoughts in my journal: "This is what selfless love looks like. It's a love that hands the brokenness of life to the broken hands of the Healer. It's a love that chooses sacrifice and presence in the midst of bitterness and doubt. It's a love that's willing to walk miles and miles by someones side so they know they are not alone. It's a love that recognizes God's character displayed in others. It's a love that does not fear brokenness. It's a love that makes me new. He makes me new."

'Cause I am a sinner

If it's not one thing, it's another

But You are a Savior

And You take brokenness aside

And make it Beautiful

~Brokenness Aside by: All Sons & Daughters~