Living All-in
Letter from 2.20.2016.
Dear Mikayla,
During the past month, you have battled within yourself - emotions, doubts, fears. You are discovering God in new ways through all of this. You have seen His goodness and known His love and grace as never before. Take this love that you have known - the love of Christ through others - and let it be what fuels your passion. Be courageous and pursue your dreams to go to Uganda. Thank Katie Davis while you're there - for being vulnerable and speaking life. Pursue passion. Pursue growth in Christ. Pursue what changes you. Regardless of your fears. But above all, pursue Christ. When He is your passion, everything that you do will be a glorious adventure. You are so loved.
Sincerely,
A slightly younger Mikayla.
As I begin to share my heart for Uganda, I would be mistaken not to write of the mysteriously beautiful penmanship of my Creator, the Artist of the stories to come. I wrote this letter to myself during a christian conference I attended during college. An author and founder of Love Does (http://lovedoes.org/), Bob Goff, was one of the main speakers during this particular year. If you have heard of Bob, then you most likely know that his message of life is all about bold gospel living and loving - pursuing the passions that God has laid on your heart in a cliff-jumping, all-in sort of way. I attended a workshop lead by a Love Does organization member. The attendees were challenged to live in this bold manner of which Bob speaks. We were asked to write ourselves a letter challenging ourselves to do something that we are passionate about (even if it seemed crazy or impossible) but have not pursued because of fear, doubt, or whatever it may be.
My dreams of Africa began during high school. It always felt impossible and I could never fathom where that could possibly fit into "the plan." My first opportunity for ministry abroad led me to Costa Rica during late high school. I fell in love with that place and I thought that surely this was where God was calling me to be post-college. I was able to do ministry in several other places throughout college, but my heart was never quite drawn to those places like it was to Costa Rica. Although part of me still wanted to visit Africa one day, it just did not seem to be part of the plan. All throughout college I had made the plan to participate in a 3 month discipleship program in Costa Rica upon graduation. I would use this time to make connections and plan for ministry there. I would return to the states, learn how to be a nurse for a few years, and then return to Costa Rica for full-time ministry.
Some unforeseen things came up during my senior year of college and plans had to be changed. Costa Rica was no longer an option following graduation. I was very confused and could not see where God was leading me. I knew in my heart that God was still asking me to go, I just didn't know where. I spent a lot of time in prayer, seeking discernment and clarity. I wrestled for weeks, feeling no direction. Then one night, as I sat on my dorm-room couch in frustrated tears, asking God once again for clarity, my phone rang. It was a number that I didn't recognize (which I rarely pick up), but for whatever reason, that night I answered the call. It was a Waynesburg professor who said she had received my name from someone who thought I might be interested in joining a ministry team to Malawi (AFRICA) following graduation. It all came full circle and I thought for sure, this must be it - I was supposed to go to Africa. I told her that I was interested and would like to pray about it. She said that the trip deposit had to be in that week, so I promised to stop by her office the next day after class to discuss details. The next afternoon, I excitedly made my way to her office, feeling like I finally had some direction. Sometimes I think God must laugh at my naive confidence in the ability to plan and control all of life. I reached her office only to find out that the trip to Malawi had been cancelled due to lack of interest. Back to square one.
A friend, who also felt called to Africa, had been signed up for the trip to Malawi. Both feeling a little lost and frustrated, we decided to spend an afternoon praying for direction and pursuing other opportunities. Before I go on, back it up a few weeks. I am scrolling through Facebook, when an ad for a pediatric nurse pops up. One click leads me to the website of Amani Baby Cottage, an orphanage in Jinja, Uganda (the significance of Jinja will come up in a late blogpost). I dismiss the thought because I have zero nursing experience at this point. Okay now fast forward to the research and prayer happening at my dear friend, Tanya's, kitchen table. Tanya suddenly turns her laptop around and says, "Mikayla, I just feel God saying that this is where you're supposed to go." The screen reads Amani Baby Cottage. I discover that they also offer internships and with a little (or slightly bigger..) push from the Lord through my sweet friend, I apply. The rest is pretty much history, as you know that I did indeed end up at Amani. I am still in awe of the tiniest details that eventually came together in this way. God's way is mysterious, but always much fuller and life-giving than I could ever begin to plan or create.
1.12.2018
I had a facetime interview with an Amani staff member today. Long story short, I am going to Africa in June. It feels surreal. To consider where my heart was even a few weeks ago, and to see how faithfully God has replaced fear and doubt with awe, excitement, and peace is truly indescribable. God works in mysterious ways. It is so fitting that Amani means "peace." God's peace is so evident and constant when I choose to receive. In choosing His presence, I have known His peace. God is moving in my heart always. He is changing me and refining me, slowly but surely, in the mundane and the unexpected. Thinking of Emily's words in my conversation with Amani today - she challenged me to go "all-in" and to throw expectations and assumptions out the window. I feel God calling me to be all-in - in ministry, career, relationships, everything- to stop deciding what something is supposed to look like and just choose Him, trusting His purpose. He is faithful. He is my joy in all things.
I am constantly learning that this all-in life that Christ calls us to isn't one great surrender, but a whole lot of small surrenders that slowly and purposefully lead us into His plans for us.
Dear Mikayla,
During the past month, you have battled within yourself - emotions, doubts, fears. You are discovering God in new ways through all of this. You have seen His goodness and known His love and grace as never before. Take this love that you have known - the love of Christ through others - and let it be what fuels your passion. Be courageous and pursue your dreams to go to Uganda. Thank Katie Davis while you're there - for being vulnerable and speaking life. Pursue passion. Pursue growth in Christ. Pursue what changes you. Regardless of your fears. But above all, pursue Christ. When He is your passion, everything that you do will be a glorious adventure. You are so loved.
Sincerely,
A slightly younger Mikayla.
As I begin to share my heart for Uganda, I would be mistaken not to write of the mysteriously beautiful penmanship of my Creator, the Artist of the stories to come. I wrote this letter to myself during a christian conference I attended during college. An author and founder of Love Does (http://lovedoes.org/), Bob Goff, was one of the main speakers during this particular year. If you have heard of Bob, then you most likely know that his message of life is all about bold gospel living and loving - pursuing the passions that God has laid on your heart in a cliff-jumping, all-in sort of way. I attended a workshop lead by a Love Does organization member. The attendees were challenged to live in this bold manner of which Bob speaks. We were asked to write ourselves a letter challenging ourselves to do something that we are passionate about (even if it seemed crazy or impossible) but have not pursued because of fear, doubt, or whatever it may be.
My dreams of Africa began during high school. It always felt impossible and I could never fathom where that could possibly fit into "the plan." My first opportunity for ministry abroad led me to Costa Rica during late high school. I fell in love with that place and I thought that surely this was where God was calling me to be post-college. I was able to do ministry in several other places throughout college, but my heart was never quite drawn to those places like it was to Costa Rica. Although part of me still wanted to visit Africa one day, it just did not seem to be part of the plan. All throughout college I had made the plan to participate in a 3 month discipleship program in Costa Rica upon graduation. I would use this time to make connections and plan for ministry there. I would return to the states, learn how to be a nurse for a few years, and then return to Costa Rica for full-time ministry.
Some unforeseen things came up during my senior year of college and plans had to be changed. Costa Rica was no longer an option following graduation. I was very confused and could not see where God was leading me. I knew in my heart that God was still asking me to go, I just didn't know where. I spent a lot of time in prayer, seeking discernment and clarity. I wrestled for weeks, feeling no direction. Then one night, as I sat on my dorm-room couch in frustrated tears, asking God once again for clarity, my phone rang. It was a number that I didn't recognize (which I rarely pick up), but for whatever reason, that night I answered the call. It was a Waynesburg professor who said she had received my name from someone who thought I might be interested in joining a ministry team to Malawi (AFRICA) following graduation. It all came full circle and I thought for sure, this must be it - I was supposed to go to Africa. I told her that I was interested and would like to pray about it. She said that the trip deposit had to be in that week, so I promised to stop by her office the next day after class to discuss details. The next afternoon, I excitedly made my way to her office, feeling like I finally had some direction. Sometimes I think God must laugh at my naive confidence in the ability to plan and control all of life. I reached her office only to find out that the trip to Malawi had been cancelled due to lack of interest. Back to square one.
A friend, who also felt called to Africa, had been signed up for the trip to Malawi. Both feeling a little lost and frustrated, we decided to spend an afternoon praying for direction and pursuing other opportunities. Before I go on, back it up a few weeks. I am scrolling through Facebook, when an ad for a pediatric nurse pops up. One click leads me to the website of Amani Baby Cottage, an orphanage in Jinja, Uganda (the significance of Jinja will come up in a late blogpost). I dismiss the thought because I have zero nursing experience at this point. Okay now fast forward to the research and prayer happening at my dear friend, Tanya's, kitchen table. Tanya suddenly turns her laptop around and says, "Mikayla, I just feel God saying that this is where you're supposed to go." The screen reads Amani Baby Cottage. I discover that they also offer internships and with a little (or slightly bigger..) push from the Lord through my sweet friend, I apply. The rest is pretty much history, as you know that I did indeed end up at Amani. I am still in awe of the tiniest details that eventually came together in this way. God's way is mysterious, but always much fuller and life-giving than I could ever begin to plan or create.
1.12.2018
I had a facetime interview with an Amani staff member today. Long story short, I am going to Africa in June. It feels surreal. To consider where my heart was even a few weeks ago, and to see how faithfully God has replaced fear and doubt with awe, excitement, and peace is truly indescribable. God works in mysterious ways. It is so fitting that Amani means "peace." God's peace is so evident and constant when I choose to receive. In choosing His presence, I have known His peace. God is moving in my heart always. He is changing me and refining me, slowly but surely, in the mundane and the unexpected. Thinking of Emily's words in my conversation with Amani today - she challenged me to go "all-in" and to throw expectations and assumptions out the window. I feel God calling me to be all-in - in ministry, career, relationships, everything- to stop deciding what something is supposed to look like and just choose Him, trusting His purpose. He is faithful. He is my joy in all things.
I am constantly learning that this all-in life that Christ calls us to isn't one great surrender, but a whole lot of small surrenders that slowly and purposefully lead us into His plans for us.
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