Bittersweet Goodbyes

August 23, 2013

Bittersweet Goodbyes

I wasn't able to journal the last day of our trip and the my last days in Texas. I will try to summarize my goodbyes and final days there as best as I can. My last journal post was the morning of our excursion to Manuel Antonio in Costa Rica before our goodbyes. I shared how I woke up from a sad dream of my goodbye with Tatiana. The strangest thing about having that dream is that our goodbye was actually very similar to that dream. We walked to each house to say our goodbyes to all the children and Tias. Some goodbyes were harder than others, given who I spent the most time with. Many were tearful, knowing that I may never see these children again. We gave out many hugs and took lots of pictures. Sadly they were hurried goodbyes, given our schedule. Three goodbyes were particularly difficult for me. The first was Roy. Little Roy became my buddy throughout the course of our long week there. He has such a calm, sweet, content nature about him. I held him and hugged him, enjoying his adorable smile, and took one last picture with him. As we prepared to leave, I laid him back on the floor to crawl around. He burst into tears. Of course this gave me tears of my own. I didn't have a choice, we had to go. He crawled after me, crying, as we left. I know that he's just a baby and he couldn't have really understood. But we formed a little bond as I played with him every day. It broke my heart to see him cry and to be leaving him. I know he is loved and taken care of there. But it hurts that I cannot be there to love and care for him and all of the other children. Deeply saddened by this goodbye, we headed to the last house. Tatiana and Axel live in this house. I grew so close to those two crazy kids and I knew it was going to be one of my most difficult goodbyes. Axel gave me a huge hug, took a picture with me, took pictures of other people with my camera, and teased me as usual. Tati of course would not take her picture with me.(But would with every one else) Although I really wish I had a picture of the two of us, I know her way of teasing me by not taking one shows that we became fond of each other and that's her way of displaying that. As we finished up taking pictures and started to head out, Tatiana and I said our final goodbye. It was like watching my dream over again. The setting was the same as my dream, the way we held each other, everything. Except Tatiana wasn't crying, but I was. We hugged for the longest time. And in those moments I knew I would have to come back. Regardless of whether I saw Tatiana again, through our embrace I realized the importance of taking the time and love to be a part of children such as these lives. Whether God has it in His Will for me to return to Hogar De Vida or whether it's just loving kids in the states. When I care for these kids, it is making a difference! Even if it seems tiny, these children are being changed by those who take the time to love them.
I still have more to write about concerning our excursion day and my return, but I think I'll save those stories for another day. Instead, here are some pictures of our goodbyes and some very sweet children! :)